“Corporations are people, my friend”

30 Nov

Over the years, the holiday shopping season has gone from crass commercialism to truly depraved crass commercialism. We’re of course referring to news stories of violence at shopping malls across the country as folks seek bargains. (Us, we’re wusses – we wouldn’t go through that ordeal if they were giving away Cartier diamonds.) As we read these accounts of crazed consumers going mano-a-mano with their fellow shoppers, we can’t help but notice that many of these incidents occur at Wal-mart stores.

Wal-mart has been in the news a lot lately, not just for the yearly brawls at its stores, but also for food drives at two of its locations to provide foodstuffs for its employees. When we first read this, we were incredulous, but we dug further and it appears to be true (http://www.businessinsider.com/second-walmart-holds-employee-food-drive-2013-11). This is weird in light of the fact that the Walton family are the richest family in America. This got us to thinking. If Mitt Romney is right that corporations are people (they aren’t), who would Wal-mart be if it were one of us people? We’ve got several ideas from the world of fiction:

Darth Smiley

Search your feelings, Luke. You’re a Walton.

1. Luke Skywalker’s dad
2. Ebenezer Scrooge
3. Mr. Potter from “It’s a Wonderful Life”
4. You-know-who from the Harry Potter books.

And from the world of non-fiction:

There was this guy who frequented the Whitechapel district during the time of Queen Victoria …

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