The Hobbit: The Desolation* of Smaug

4 Jan

Warning:  This post contains some salty language (no, not ‘the F bomb’, but salty nonetheless.)  We don’t go out of our way to use salty language in our posts, but in this case we’re quoting someone who uses salty language.

We’re not going to see the “The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug.”  We didn’t see the last one, either.   We’ve decided that the cinematic adaptation of the Tolkien novel does not require three movies.  In our humble opinion, the story could be told just fine in one film.  (After all, the Rankin/Bass animation studio told the story in 90 minutes. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077687/ We’re not saying it’s a masterwork, but hey, they did it.)  Stretching the story out over three films seems to us like a blatant attempt to cash in.  According to imdb.com, the first installment has a running time of 169 minutes and the second comes in at 161 minutes.  Five and a half hours of screen time and they’re still not done telling the story?  Forget it, we’re not going.

From the title, we assumed that Smaug gets himself desolated in this go round, but apparently, that’s not so.  The desolation of Smaug refers to the desolation that Smaug has caused and not to any ennui felt by the avaricious dragon.  In light of this, we feel that the picture should have been titled:

The Hobbit: The Desolation* of Smaug

* the desolation Smaug caused,  not Smaug’s own desolation.

Sure, it’s not pithy, but the existing title isn’t pithy either.  What ours lack in brevity, it makes up for in clarity.

We’ve read that this installment contains a butt-kicking female character that is not in the novel.  Tolkien purists will be miffed, but our grown-up daughter saw the film and defended the addition, stating (Warning: here comes the salty part.  We raised our offspring not to use salty language, but they rebelled and use it anyway) “They needed that touch of estrogen to cut through the dick-fog of the movie.”

Tauriel

Onward through the fog …

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